The Black Cloud

"Just what exactly is your problem?"

He couldn't exactly answer that, honestly. Really, he couldn't.

"It's nothing."

"You say that when I damn well know you don't mean it."

"Then it simply means I don't wanna tell you about it," he snarled back, though like always, he held back. He never could see himself fully lashing out at her. Not when he cared this much about her feelings.

"Then stop making it so damn obvious that you're this depressed when you jolly know well the rest of us would be concerned!" she roared, and that took him back. He knew she doesn't have any qualms of voicing how she felt, and he found that endearing about her.

But this, this right here, with her teeth gritted and her eyes dark and void of all emotions, save for her anger, scared him. She regained her composure a nanosecond later, but that image of her being angry -angry at him- was seared into the back of his mind.

Then he looked down.

"I'm sorry."

That wasn't something new.

"You apologize for everything. You're always so worried about how we look at you. I once told you that you're an open book, and it hasn't changed yet."

That was a lariat to the heart he wouldn't have accepted from anyone else.

"It's comforting to know that some things never changed between us." Dry humor. He was never good at it, but he couldn't stop himself from muttering those words.


She couldn't find a good response to that. He sounded monotonous, and that only meant that he lost his will to argue.

Instead, she pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head.

"What do you want from me?"

He had to look up when she asked that. He did not see that one coming.

His mouth fell a good distance as he couldn't think of a possible answer.

"Answer me!" she said, the strain in her voice panicking him. Every minute action she made, every gesture she gave was treasured by him. Seeing her being angry always tore him up.

"I-I just want you to see me differently!" he yelled.

Then it hit him like a brick to the face. It was no different from telling her I like you. I want you to like me too.

She stood aghast for the slightest moment before asking in an exasperated tone.

"W-What's so wrong about just being friends? Must you always try to push it to something more? I thought you were done with me ages ago!"

Blow after blow, he just stood there and took it all in. Deep down, every word she said made perfect sense that it hurt.

"Why is it so hard for you to get over me?!" she finally yelled. All that built-up anger finally spilled over.

"Because you're different!" He had his limit too, and it was time he did the venting.

"You're still the most beautiful girl I've ever met, you're still one of the few girls I've ever fallen for who still doesn't mind being my friend, you're still amazing me with almost all that you do, and if I had to sing praises about all that is good about you, I'l take the rest of the week to finish it."

There. A touch of wit to sum it up. Just like how the Brits would do it.

"I don't mind being the ear that listens whenever you have troubles, I don't mind being that shoulder for you to cry on, I don't mind helping you deal with all those problems you have with other boys even though it hurts like hell that I don't mean that much to be a heartbreak for you."

"You want to be a heartbreak for me? You want to cause me that kind of trouble I keep telling you about? Is that it? You want to be just like all those other guys? To get bothered-up in my head for a few days and then just *poof*, you're gone after that?"

"I just wanted you to love me the way you loved them! And I swear to God I will never break your heart the way they did it." He swung his arm for good measure.

"Those are all kind, sweet nothings you promise me but in the end things don't always turn out the way you want them. Do you think I wanted them to hurt me in the end?"

"I know you don't, and I can promise you the moon and the stars and I know they'll mean nothing to you if I don't back it up with action. And that's why I'm willing to take this risk.

"This is not the same childhood crush I had on you back then. I've had the pleasure of knowing you so much more as friends; your strengths, your weaknesses, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, the flow of your hair when it's windy out, that little giggle you make whenever someone says something you found amusing....

"I am truly, without a doubt, in love with you. Not some surge of hormones, not some rash confession, but I am sincerely in love  with you, and I want to take that risk of making you mine."

She stood there in silence, taking it all in while he remained still, not daring to move an inch from his position.

As the skies broke apart to let the sun's beams shower the land below, he could see the anguish in her face, and to her, the utter sorrow in his.

It would not be so easy to remedy the revelation that broke open today, but if they were willing, they'd be able to handle it together.



================================================
A little gift for an old friend of mine who needed something like this to vent some steam. Or a lot of it.

*EDIT*
D, I don't think she's gonna see this lah. You still want me to keep this post up?

Finals

So we finally manage to get the semester break started, 

with one week already gone because of the Illustration Fundamentals finals.

So basically, it's finishing the Starcraft 2 campaign, and getting some 

self-improvement work over and done with.

And indulging in Avatar. Gosh I'm in love with the series =)

Oh, and here's my submission for the finals.

Harry was done by the lecturer who wanted to use my work as a class tutorial.

Medium:

Color pencils, gouache paint and soft pastels.

Next stop: Sketches and tablet time.

Water

It's been months since I last said something here,

and yes, I have kept track.

It's been 3 months, and honestly,

it flew by quickly.

My semester started about the time the previous post about Danny Choo

came up, so yes, it has been that long,

and it sort of scares me time can pass by so quickly.

My 3 weeks' worth of a semester break approaches soon,

and I find myself dreading to spend most of it doing nothing.

Just, nothing.

Being in TOA made me a workaholic,

or, at least, uncomfortable without some form of work in front of me,

some work that needed to be done.

Kai already illustrated that fact

 (not literally, mind.)

and every now and again I keep telling myself to get the sketchbook out and 

just...sketch. To draw. To practice. 

In between an episode of Avatar when I found a shoulder plate design to

 be rather fascinating.

When I'm playing some game that has some design I like.

But no, all I have sketched in recently is this half-hearted sketch of Astrid

(How To Train Your Dragon. I'm obsessed with HiccupxAstrid fanfics now)

and it eats away in me.

I need to get better. I need to practice more on casual sketches that look spot-on

without taking so much time to get the basics right,

be it proportions, or making the clothes just fit,

or whatever.

Still, as I think of the Illustration Fundamental work I'm going to hand up,

and how it contrasts so much with how my art used to be in Form 4 or 5 back

in high school, almost like night and day.

I'll bet my classmates are thinking the same thing right now about their own work. Maybe.

Guess all I can do is look forward and keep on marching, right?

It's funny how pensive one can get all of a sudden.

Meet The Choos

No, it's not an upcoming movie.

I'm sure the name Jimmy Choo ran by you at least once in your life right?

Be it from TV, a magazine, or even a pair of his celebrated line of footwear that your 

mum/sister/girlfriend (gasp!) wears.

Maybe even you wear a pair.

(Considering you're a girl, or else...it'd be...awkward.)

Alright, straight to the point.

Now, his son, Danny Choo, is a certain individual that deals in 

Japan lifestyle and pop culture.

Other than that, his website is for everything anime/manga/figures/otaku-dom.

So he was here in KL and on his last day here he decided to have a get-together with

the members of dannychoo.com and figure.fm in Lot 10

Naturally I was ecstatic. XD

Quite the crowd.

Danny's Dollfie, Saber (from Fate Stay Night) was there to greet us.

My first real encounter with a Dollfie, and honestly, I want one.

A smaller one placed against the bigger (in more ways than one...) Saber.

The meet-up place was rather small due to the reserved area specifically for us,

'cause Danny wasn't expecting nearly a hundred people to turn up on such short notice!

Danny had pulled some strings in YTL for this place, though. ^^

A girl taking care of her 'daughter' (nickname for a Dollfie, since it needs that much maintenance and manja)

Those who don't have Dollfies brought Figma figurines along, like I did!

Haruhi and Kyon (from Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi) are the only 2 I have,

so I thought they could use some fresh air.

XD

Someone's actually taking a photo of them! 

Can't get a good angle to show off the real dynamics of the pose. 

Looks so kayu in this shot.

The Dollfies again, this time with an unknown illustration.

More shots on my Figmas! XD

She changed the pose to suit her liking, which I don't mind.

Merry bunch of people that I sat with.

Everyone clicks in this gathering, 'cause we're all on common ground. =)

lol, some of the guys wanted to go creative.

Luka (top) is so cute! ><

ahh, the man, Danny, himself.

I stuttered a little, being extremely nervous of meeting a celebrity (he is!) like him.

"It's okay, I'm a little nervous here too," he said with a smile,

and I appreciated that. 

Japanese humble-ness. =)

Like everyone else, he asked me about who I was, what I do,

and we had a genuine, nice discussion.

He takes time to talk to every single reader who turned up,

and that was something I found to be delightful. =)

A dedicated flag presented to him,

with notes of thanks to him written all over the red and whites =)

owner of the smaller dollfie, 

and a friend of my current classmates! small world!

mother of the medium-sized dollfie. 

Okay, close-in on my 2 Figs. Haruhi never ceases to drive Kyon up the wall.

Otacool magazine made by Danny's ocmpany. 

You should buy one at Kinokuniya. 

Better shot at them.

now this was a pleasant surprise.

when I was halfway drawing a sketch of Saber,

a man came up behind me and said

"I like this style. It's the whole manga thing, right?"

I gave an immediate thanks and turned around,

but couldn't recognize who he was (thought at first that he was another fan)

until I saw the person next to him.

Dato' Jimmy Choo.

*omgomgomgomg*

that was what went in my head as the crowd swarmed with murmurs of 

"Jimmy Choo! He's here!"

Some called him 'Daddy Choo.'

XD

And guess who that other man was?

Tan Sri Francis Yeoh,

managing director of YTL.

2 of Malaysia's business giants were stading mere feet from me,

of whom one already complimented on my drawings. 

To say I was starstruck is an understatement.

Yup, couldn't pass out the chance. XD

He has a very firm hand-shake, to be expected from a man of his caliber.

More Dollfies. XD

The amount of details of a high-end Dollfie is astounding,

but so is the price tag.

Mind, clothes are bought separately, and cost as much as real ones, if not more.

Danny decided to add one more accessory to her,

and I smiled when I found out what it was.

She has her own mini-DSLR.

  Awwww. >3<

Accessories are abundant for Dollfies. Try Googling it all of you're curious.

After most of the crowd trickled out,

Danny decided to hold a small Q & A session,

and he sat at the table where my Figmas and those of several others were there,

and he decided to have a little fun,

to our amusement.

Lolololololol.

I felt like a reporter for a night. Lalalalalala.

So while I was taking these shots,

I was continuing my sketch of Saber (who was right in front of me, lol),

and was caught off-guard when Danny asked "What'cha got there?"

All attention turned to me as I quickly replied that it was a sketch of Saber 

and handed it to him the second his hand stretched out for it.

"This is really nice. Such a lovely pair of eyes," he said with that cheeky grin,

and I immediately caught the hidden meaning.

"Which eyes??" I asked with an amused tone, and the rest laughed.

Yeah, we all know the joke.

"Both," he said, and we laughed some more.

He signed the sketch and I was told by the rest to get a snapshot with Danny and the sketch.

T.T

I'm so happeh!

Haruhi wanted to have a last shot with the girls she bonded with

during her time here, while she sent Kyon to pack things up.

(what else is new...)

These group of people were with Danny and Jimmy at some time,

and they were all sitting together when everything was over,

so it's safe to say that they're all family. ^^

It was edging to 9pm when it was all over,

so I decided to have dinner at the food court,

and to complete the day nicely,

udon for dinner. 

XD

Haruhi-chan just couldn't resist getting into one more pic. =)

We were the last 20% that actually stayed back to the very end,

and it was rewarding, to say the least. =)

Looking forward to next time, Danny! 

=)

Hatching, Cross-Hatching

I've been looking around for some time and I noticed that

I'm lacking in certain areas that really have me going down in the dumps today.

I don't like to feel depressed, especially when I'm driving, or stuck in a traffic jam, like earlier tonight.

But I'm feeling better now, being in the midst of family.

This post isn't all about morbid-ness and grim-tinged muses, though.

Fields of Blue

Done for Mother's Day recently, 

and I should've posted this sooner, 

but I forgot, 

or just being my usual neglectful self.

My first take on a scenery digital painting,

so there.

Ze Edits!

Cropped a lil' at the lower area because I though her legs looked kinda odd at the end.

What do you guys think?

Snow

Yuki.

Snow.

Something that I wish would be happening here in KL,

but yeah, no hope for that, since we have no mad scientist

whose only sole purpose in life is to create a snow-day here.

But enough about that,

here's what the post is really about.

Yuki Nagato,

from The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi.

Did I mention that I'm in love with this girl?

Reading The Disappearance of Suzumiya Haruhi just reinforced it,

and makes me impatient for the DVD-ripped version of the movie to come out.

Yes, the studios who made the anime turned that particular plot arc into

a 2-hour+ movie. And I'm really eager to see it.

Why?

Because the otherwise emotion-less Yuki (she's an alien, don't ask)

acts all moe and all-round adorable in that arc,

and it has almost all the fans going nuts over it.

So that's why I made this pic,

to show that side of Yuki that bears real emotion.

XD

And when I was browsing through my folder with all my works in it,

I came across my first Yuki CG, which was done last year,

when I first got this tablet.

And I made a comparison.

Yeah...major difference.

Before: 26th December 2009

After: 3rd May 2010

I still have a long way to go,

and Kai advises me to sharpen my anatomy skills,

so I'll take a break from CG-ing and brush up on it, then,

the pencil once again being my best freind.

But looking at this, goes to show how far I've come in these past few months,

and how far I still have to go to reach the level all Illustrators dream of.

Practice practice practice.

Gotta remember that one.

The Shield And the Hammer

Good news and bad.

Bad news is, 

sleepy + figure homework = some f**ked-up finishing.

 Good news is,

Robert Downey Jr. doesn't fail to deliver another solid role.

Neither did Mickey Rourke!

Yes, folks, I've watched Iron Man 2 

one day straight off the bat of it's release,

owing to booking the tickets a week in advance,

and even then, a majority of the good seats were gone to the reservations. 

Pfft.

At least I got good ones this time for the whole family.

So, critique time!

Ignore if you don't want spoilers,

which...I wouldn't give, at any rate...

The story was nice and solid, 

none of those cliché elements in them,

not in my eyes, anyway.

There were times that I felt bad for Tony,

who is a terrible alcoholic in the comics origianlly (though only shown briefly in this one)

and find myself tempted to shove Pepper and Tony together

so they would just kiss and stop arguing already,

(not really furious arguments, you know,

but more like those moments in the first movie where they won't stop countering one another,

and it's endearing, yes, and it makes you just *wish* they'd make out already)

I swear she's perfect for him. 

Gwenneth Paltrow certainly portrays Pepper wonderfully,

being the not-too-overly-sexy, caring, controlled and systematic woman

that can still give Tony a piece of her mind.

Do I even need to mention how beautiful Pepper is?

Robert was born to play Tony Stark, hands down.

Remember the court room scene we kept seeing in trailers?

Listen to every word he says when you watch it that scene in the full movie.

Scarlett Johansson was...hawt.

As a secretary *and* as Black Widow,

kicking ass in 360 degrees.

Literally.

And Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury is made of win.

Seriously. Aside from the Robert/Tony destiny,

Samuel L. *is* the incarnation of the SHIELD Director.

Not sure bout Don Cheadle, though.

He did good in this movie, 

but I haven't seen much of him before,

so I'm not sure what to compare.

I don't even need to mention about the graphics, now do I?

It's like saying the sea is wet,

or that Iron Man is red.

And gold.

War Machine's grey, 

but he doesn't count.

I'm talking prismatic colors here, people!

Colors that make you a striking target FTW!!

Ranty P.S: 

Pepper will make a wondeful mom one day,

just look at her character!

How can you not find maternal traits in her?

Time

Don't we all wish we had more of it?

But this isn't some rant about how 24 hours isn't enough in a day,

(is it?)

but to show just how dusty this blog's been for ages since.

Partially because I've been too swamped up in favorite-ing others' works

on Deviantart and getting myself known there. 

Got some good friends there already!

So after my previous work that I've published here,

I've done 2 more but just didn't have the time to post them up.

Jack(left): I mean, don't you pass this sign *everyday*?

Squad Member no. 14765: ....Shuddup.

This my friends, is a commission work for an upcoming animation called

The Undertaking 

which is done by a group of people in Deviantart,

so they requested me to promote it.

=)

My first take on semi-realism.

Title: Orz.

Seriously, it's called Orz in my Deviantart page, 

because I had no idea what I was thinking when i did this.

I spent a few hours in this seemingly simple piece because I was trying a new way of

shading the facial features in semi-realism-ness.

(Got too lazy for some epic background. Ugh)

Good news is that the lineart didn't take as long. 

Guess JollyJack was right. 

"Experience gained can be more important than the final outcome."

Or something like that.

P.S.: Don't know what 'orz' means? Google it. It's a new emoticon. =)

Money Well Spent (Warning, High Content Post)

Which is what I can say for the definite highlight to this term break of mine.

Oh yes.

A year ago I watched their performances on Youtube and envied the Americans

for having something as awesome as this. 

And now here we are, experiencing this for ourselves!

I had Maine and Jas for company, and we all got the 2nd-class seats,

 so we were just in perfect distance from the stage itself. 

=)

pardon the soddy camera phone shots...

It was packed! I never thought that so many fellow gamers would turn up for this!

And yes, that's Jas on the lowest part of the shot. XD

From the beginning till the end, this entire orchestra never ceased to fulfill 

all our cravings for the best-of-the-best of video games.

They started off with a memorial for the late King of Pop by 

showcasing his character from the classic Moonwalker game into others

like Super Mario Bros., Donkey Kong, Space Invaders and Tetris, to name a few.

It was one of the best and funniest montages ever!

Then ALL of the great classics came out that we used to play as kids, like:

Super Mario Bros.

Tetris

Space Invaders

Outrun!

Moto-Cross

Top Gun! 

Duck Hunt

Elevator Action!

They changed the arrangements and the games included,

but hey, that means every concert is varied!

It brought back so much memories!

Then right off the bat, the second piece to come up was:

Metal Gear Solid.

Me and Maine, we screamed like crazy at the mention,

and almost freaked out when Hideo Kojima made an introduction on the big screen.

There were other epics like

 God of War (almost the whole hall screamed, including myself!)

Shadow of The Collossus (Again, everyone went crazy)

Warcraft (Need I say it? We all screamed)

Kingdom Hearts (Yeah, everyone waited for this one, man)

Sonic the Hedgehog (So nostalgic =D)

Super Mario Series (We all sang along to it!)

Legend of Zelda (Maine and Jas went nuts XD)

The guitarist is Tommy Tallarico, video game song composer and producer of VGL,

the maestro is Jack Hall, video game song composer,

and the flute-player is Laura 'Flute Link' Intravia, 

who donned a dress to play vocals for the God of War piece.

One of my personal favourites was when the composer of the Metal Gear Solid series,

Noriko Hibino came out to bring out Snake Eater, the opening theme of MGS3,

and he was on the saxaphone!

(Maine swooned on this one, I'm sure.)

And there was one of my personal favourites,

HALO!

And Tommy was on the electric guitar for this one!

And the closing call for the whole this was,

to everyone's pleasure,

One Winged Angel!

(now, you don't need a Youtube video for this one, no?)

The encores (they were generous enough for 2!)

were Chrono Trigger (hardened fans loved this!)

and Castlevania (another hysteria-causer)

Afterward we had a meet-and-greet session that they were so gracious to have

for every single last person who stood in line,

(we waited for almost an hour and not one person in the line seemed to mind)

and I got myself this. =)

Autographs from (clockwise starting from the middle)

Jack Hall,

Noriko Hibino

Tommy Tallarico

and Laura Intravia

We were all so hyped-out about the autographs!

Especially Maine. Tommy winked at her. ;)

A stroll in the KLCC park and a Starbucks with the girls was our version of a nightcap.

Almost got lost trying to remember which floor I parked the car in.

Yes, I jotted down the pillar number,

but forgot which floor.

==

All in all a good experience.

I owe a very special girl thanks for convincing me

that I should treat myself to something like this every once in awhile. 

;)