The Black Cloud

"Just what exactly is your problem?"

He couldn't exactly answer that, honestly. Really, he couldn't.

"It's nothing."

"You say that when I damn well know you don't mean it."

"Then it simply means I don't wanna tell you about it," he snarled back, though like always, he held back. He never could see himself fully lashing out at her. Not when he cared this much about her feelings.

"Then stop making it so damn obvious that you're this depressed when you jolly know well the rest of us would be concerned!" she roared, and that took him back. He knew she doesn't have any qualms of voicing how she felt, and he found that endearing about her.

But this, this right here, with her teeth gritted and her eyes dark and void of all emotions, save for her anger, scared him. She regained her composure a nanosecond later, but that image of her being angry -angry at him- was seared into the back of his mind.

Then he looked down.

"I'm sorry."

That wasn't something new.

"You apologize for everything. You're always so worried about how we look at you. I once told you that you're an open book, and it hasn't changed yet."

That was a lariat to the heart he wouldn't have accepted from anyone else.

"It's comforting to know that some things never changed between us." Dry humor. He was never good at it, but he couldn't stop himself from muttering those words.


She couldn't find a good response to that. He sounded monotonous, and that only meant that he lost his will to argue.

Instead, she pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head.

"What do you want from me?"

He had to look up when she asked that. He did not see that one coming.

His mouth fell a good distance as he couldn't think of a possible answer.

"Answer me!" she said, the strain in her voice panicking him. Every minute action she made, every gesture she gave was treasured by him. Seeing her being angry always tore him up.

"I-I just want you to see me differently!" he yelled.

Then it hit him like a brick to the face. It was no different from telling her I like you. I want you to like me too.

She stood aghast for the slightest moment before asking in an exasperated tone.

"W-What's so wrong about just being friends? Must you always try to push it to something more? I thought you were done with me ages ago!"

Blow after blow, he just stood there and took it all in. Deep down, every word she said made perfect sense that it hurt.

"Why is it so hard for you to get over me?!" she finally yelled. All that built-up anger finally spilled over.

"Because you're different!" He had his limit too, and it was time he did the venting.

"You're still the most beautiful girl I've ever met, you're still one of the few girls I've ever fallen for who still doesn't mind being my friend, you're still amazing me with almost all that you do, and if I had to sing praises about all that is good about you, I'l take the rest of the week to finish it."

There. A touch of wit to sum it up. Just like how the Brits would do it.

"I don't mind being the ear that listens whenever you have troubles, I don't mind being that shoulder for you to cry on, I don't mind helping you deal with all those problems you have with other boys even though it hurts like hell that I don't mean that much to be a heartbreak for you."

"You want to be a heartbreak for me? You want to cause me that kind of trouble I keep telling you about? Is that it? You want to be just like all those other guys? To get bothered-up in my head for a few days and then just *poof*, you're gone after that?"

"I just wanted you to love me the way you loved them! And I swear to God I will never break your heart the way they did it." He swung his arm for good measure.

"Those are all kind, sweet nothings you promise me but in the end things don't always turn out the way you want them. Do you think I wanted them to hurt me in the end?"

"I know you don't, and I can promise you the moon and the stars and I know they'll mean nothing to you if I don't back it up with action. And that's why I'm willing to take this risk.

"This is not the same childhood crush I had on you back then. I've had the pleasure of knowing you so much more as friends; your strengths, your weaknesses, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, the flow of your hair when it's windy out, that little giggle you make whenever someone says something you found amusing....

"I am truly, without a doubt, in love with you. Not some surge of hormones, not some rash confession, but I am sincerely in love  with you, and I want to take that risk of making you mine."

She stood there in silence, taking it all in while he remained still, not daring to move an inch from his position.

As the skies broke apart to let the sun's beams shower the land below, he could see the anguish in her face, and to her, the utter sorrow in his.

It would not be so easy to remedy the revelation that broke open today, but if they were willing, they'd be able to handle it together.



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A little gift for an old friend of mine who needed something like this to vent some steam. Or a lot of it.

*EDIT*
D, I don't think she's gonna see this lah. You still want me to keep this post up?