Have you ever met a path that led you down different trails?
I have.
It sucks. It hurts. It agonizes.
Why?
Because I have feelings for 4 different girls.
All so different. All so desirable.
Call me a lovesick idiot. Go ahead.
I deserve it. I deserve it for dividing my heart for so many when I should be focusing on just 1.
Why do I divide my attention among the 4 of them?
Maybe...maybe it's because I keep thinking, not even one of them would ever fall for a guy like me.
Two of them already have boyfriends. And I feel so utterly selfish, and stupid, for wishing that they weren't couples in the first place. It wouldn't be fair, to take away the happiness of others for my own selfish reasons.
One of them is classy and moderately wild, someone I would have to sprint to catch up with. But for her, I would. But she already belongs to another. And I can only look away ruefully.
Another is a girl that is so unattainable, so high and mighty(in a good way), that I fade total comparison. I don't think I'm her type. I'm not good enough, I guess.
Another girl is one that I had feelings for the longest. She's comfortable around me, as I am comfortable with her. I knew her since I could even remember.
I bet you're thinking 'girl-next-door',right?
Wrong.
She's my cousin.
I know, I know. It's social taboo and all that crap.
But she is, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful girls I have ever laid eyes on.
And she is extremely smart. Understanding. Kind.
But she too, has a boyfriend.
And when I first fell in love with her during my early teen years,
I made the bloody big mistake of being so obvious about my feelings for her.
And guess what? It was unrequited.
Does she know I still have feelings for her?
If she did, she'd never return it to me. Never.
Then there's the last girl, the last person I fell for recently. Well, if you can call sometime mid-last year recent.
She's kind, intelligent, sweet, gorgeous, an anime fan like myself and
possesses a beautiful air around her.
She's...perfect. But it always seems like she's always too busy for me.
No, I don't blame her. How could I?
What grounds do I possess to do such a thing?
I made the stupid mistake of confessing, only to be gently rejected by her, like so many other girls before.
Y'know, it hurts. It really hurts to know that I'm always never their type, no matter how hard I try to fit in, no matter how difficult it is to be have feelings for so many different girls.
I don't even know what to write anymore. I don't know how to voice out how I feel. I don't know what to do with myself, feeling so pathetic when I stop to think about how far I got myself into this mess.
I look out into the world and see so many happy people in relationships, or those who even qualify to potentially HAVE a relationship, and I ask myself.
"Why can't I be someone who deserves better?"
I have.
It sucks. It hurts. It agonizes.
Why?
Because I have feelings for 4 different girls.
All so different. All so desirable.
Call me a lovesick idiot. Go ahead.
I deserve it. I deserve it for dividing my heart for so many when I should be focusing on just 1.
Why do I divide my attention among the 4 of them?
Maybe...maybe it's because I keep thinking, not even one of them would ever fall for a guy like me.
Two of them already have boyfriends. And I feel so utterly selfish, and stupid, for wishing that they weren't couples in the first place. It wouldn't be fair, to take away the happiness of others for my own selfish reasons.
One of them is classy and moderately wild, someone I would have to sprint to catch up with. But for her, I would. But she already belongs to another. And I can only look away ruefully.
Another is a girl that is so unattainable, so high and mighty(in a good way), that I fade total comparison. I don't think I'm her type. I'm not good enough, I guess.
Another girl is one that I had feelings for the longest. She's comfortable around me, as I am comfortable with her. I knew her since I could even remember.
I bet you're thinking 'girl-next-door',right?
Wrong.
She's my cousin.
I know, I know. It's social taboo and all that crap.
But she is, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful girls I have ever laid eyes on.
And she is extremely smart. Understanding. Kind.
But she too, has a boyfriend.
And when I first fell in love with her during my early teen years,
I made the bloody big mistake of being so obvious about my feelings for her.
And guess what? It was unrequited.
Does she know I still have feelings for her?
If she did, she'd never return it to me. Never.
Then there's the last girl, the last person I fell for recently. Well, if you can call sometime mid-last year recent.
She's kind, intelligent, sweet, gorgeous, an anime fan like myself and
possesses a beautiful air around her.
She's...perfect. But it always seems like she's always too busy for me.
No, I don't blame her. How could I?
What grounds do I possess to do such a thing?
I made the stupid mistake of confessing, only to be gently rejected by her, like so many other girls before.
Y'know, it hurts. It really hurts to know that I'm always never their type, no matter how hard I try to fit in, no matter how difficult it is to be have feelings for so many different girls.
I don't even know what to write anymore. I don't know how to voice out how I feel. I don't know what to do with myself, feeling so pathetic when I stop to think about how far I got myself into this mess.
I look out into the world and see so many happy people in relationships, or those who even qualify to potentially HAVE a relationship, and I ask myself.
"Why can't I be someone who deserves better?"
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