Student's Jokes

Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.

Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.

Teacher : Why?

Student : There is no future in it.

Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for
$6, how much would your father still have?

Ted: $10.

Teacher : No Ted, you don't know maths.

Ted: No teacher, you don't know my father well!

Mother: David, come here.David: Yes, mum?

Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.

David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.

Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now lah.

Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?

Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8

Father: So?

Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8, and on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

Girl : Do you love me?

Boy: Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

Man: How old is your father?

Boy: As old as me

Man: How can that be?

Boy: He became a father only when I was born mah

Teacher : Simon, your essay "About My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?

Simon: No teacher, that is because it's the same dog mah!

Teacher: Where were u born?

Student: Singapore, Sir.

Teacher: Which part?

Student: All of me lah, Sir. You mean a person's body, hands and legs sometimes born in separate places meh?

Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair?

Ah Kow : No comb lah, Sir.

Teacher: Aiyah, simple, use your dad's then.

Ah Kow : He has no more hair, so no comb also loh Sir.

A boy came home from school with his exam results.

'What did u get?' asked his father.

'My marks are under water,' said the boy.

'What do u mean 'under water'?'

'They are all below 'C' (sea) level' mah