12am

It's currrently 12.16am on a Tuesday.

Nothing unusual for me to be up this late.

Except for one little teensy thing.

I'm having my dinner.

Right.
Now.

Oh, how so much has changed in a span of a few weeks...

People say there's always a silver lining to each bad event.

Well, there is one.

The only thing is, I don't stand to benefit from it.

FML.

I did it.

I messed up.

Again.


No one may be perfect,
but I am far from it as one could possibly be.

Fall

It happens to the worst of us.
It happens to the best of us.


I've know you since we were little.
I've known your brother since we were little too.

My mum knew your mum since they were both in primary school.

It was by His Grace that we all knew one another.

When we were young, all 3 of us used to be such good buddies,
along with the other 2.

Because all our mothers knew one another from primary and secondary school,
3 families were brought together,
2 sets of families with a brother and a sister each,
and me being the only child back then.

I used to love hanging around with you all,
then we grew distant.

We lost touch.
All of us.

Then we met again in church.

Old friendships rekindled.

Your brother grew so much.
He's my age, but he's bigger and taller than me!
We used to almost be the same height when we were younger,
him and I!

You grew up too.
Beautiful, at such a young age.
I grew more attracted to you as the times passed,
even as I rarely got to see you.

You lived your own life.
I lived my own.

I laughed several times when I figured that
what I felt for you was almost similar to that of the
Harry Potter fashion.

Why?

Because Harry fell in love with his best friend's sister.
And alot of people always say I look like good ol' Harry for some reason...
Well, technically he wasn't my best friend,
but you did look like Ginny Weasley.

Eventhough that feeling is gone now,
I still care for you.
You're like the little sister I never had.

And because of that,
it eats me up inside to hear what happened.

I know I have no right to get into your business,
but it worries me, nevertheless.

You always seemed the good girl.
You always seemed polite, respectful, kind.
Like her.

But I now understand that I never knew you well enough.
I'm not saying you're a bad girl or whatever.
I'm just stating that even the best of us fall.

I never liked drinking.
Neither should you.

What ever happened,
I hope you learned your lesson from it.

I know that you're a good girl inside.
I know that you may not be perfect.

Heck, no one is.

What we humans fail to realize time and time again
is the simple, painful, but sobering truth.

No one is perfect.
No one will ever be perfect.

It is that imperfection
that gives humanity its edge.

So don't strive to be perfect.
Don't try to do what others do.

Do your own thing.
Make your own style.
Don't fall into peer pressure.

Trust me, it doesn't do you any good.

Stay safe, sis.

I care for you still.

Sincerely yours,

Leon
-your distant, invisible brother, but a brother still-

Steel. Wood. Laquer.

Don't I just look good with a guitar?

Now admit it, love.

Life

I find it hard to update my blog every so often as I used to.

But it's what happened these past few days that spurred me to be more...
update-ish.

So today was considered quite eventful, if you asked me.

Our group went to Sunway Pyramid before classes started at 1pm,
so we had some time to spend on stuff.

We ended up going for bowling, of all things.



Trust me, Sunway's bowling alleys are larger than the ones in Times Square,
but not as well-established.

There's even this one irate old guy who looks like he manages the place.
Typical.

As for lunch, we headed to a Korean restaurant that Dorcas, Shaz and Terry went to before.

It was a large group of 9 of us.

Me, Terry, Dorcas, Shaz, Mei Kuan, Er Nee,
Albert, Sotong and Sim Yang.

If you're wondering why it's so blur,
this pic is actually taken from another pic
by the restaurant's young Korean owner.
He's such a nice guy.


Yes, he has his own Wall of Fame.
It's for advertising purposes, mostly,
but seeing the smiles on those
who've had their pics taken like this
has a nice feeling to it, actually.



It's quite affordable, I'd say, but still, it blew a big hole in my wallet....

I get quite alot per week in terms of allowance,
but minus the funds needed for toll and parking,
you'd be surprised with how much I'd have left.

Everything else was pretty much regular until we decided to go back.

Toh Seng decided to call Terry up and offered to treat him to dinner
in the pasar malam near Leisure Mall.

Jing Ting, who we practically carpool with everyday, said she's fine with it.
Naturally, so was I.

But seeing as we reached Toh Seng's house at about 5,
we had around an hour or 2 till the pasar started.

And we had to wait for KKLOO
(formerly known as Khai Keat. He's called that by everyone nowadays)

So we had loads of free time to play around
with the abundant amount of musical instruments in Toh Seng's house.

And play around we did.
But there was more than just playing, I'd gather.

Terry quipped us as being Secret: Part 2. (The Jay Chou movie)
I wouldn't be one to deny it, to be honest.

=)


I guess everything else was pretty much fine too after that.



And fine it was, indeed.

Promises

あなたはあなたが私にふさわしくないと言いました。

それは、本当に、皮肉です。

私は今私がさらにもっとあなたのことを気にかけることを知っています、
ローズ。

今あなたは私に世界全体を意味します。

承認されたように、我々は今のところ友人たちのままでいるでしょう。

けれども私は待つでしょう。

私は根気よく待つでしょう。

あなたのための私の感情はすべての疑いの影を薄くするでしょう。

あなたは私の最も素晴らしい冒険、ローズです。

あなたは私の唯一無二の正真正銘のプリンセスです。

私の１つの本当の将来の愛。

None

We hardly talk.

Hell, we hardly even say anything to each other.

All I hear is nothing.

I only see.
I see the words that you write.
And warm as they are, they're just words.

Cold, distant words.

Even if it is only words,
I might not mind that much.

At least I get to hear from you.

But even when it is just words,
I hear so little from you.

The distance between us grows so deep and far that I fear we will lose ourselves.
I don't want that to happen.

It's almost an entire year since I last saw you.

I'm so torn.

I feel for many.

But I long for you.

I long for your voice.
I long to see you face-to-face again.

Please, reach out to me,
the same way I''ve been reaching out to you for too long now.

Utter my name with that sweet, soft, angelic voice
that God graced you with.

Curse me for ever being so lovesick.

I hate myself for falling for so many.

My heart is weak, where my feelings are pure, yet indecisive.

I can't decide.

I can't pursue you, knowing that I don't even have the chance to
strike a decent conversation with you every now and then.

Some have told me to stay and wait for you.
Others have told me otherwise.

I can't decide.
I can't choose.

It's mostly because I don't have any options.

You're so far from me.

I can't reach to you, or know how you are.

Many are after you as well,
I know this.

And it breaks my heart to shards,
fearing that you shall be taken away from me.

I know you shall not give in to their cloaked calls,
but I fear that you would find someone,
someone that would catch your eyes,
oh, your soft, gentle dark eyes.

I fear that he would have you within his grasps,
and hold you within him like you would hold him.

And the cold, hard reality would hit me mercilessly,
like a hammer to glass,
shattering me, heart and soul,
into nothing but a million pieces.

I have loved,
and I have lost.

But I was never loved in return.

No.

What is it like to be loved?

Tell me.




私に話してください、ローズ。
ある日私があなたを愛する同じ方法で私にあなたが私を愛するであろうと言ってください。